IM Confessionals: Breaking Up is Hard to Do.

So the other night I had a conversation with a friend of mine I’m yannibmbr, obviously, and she’s fallingstarsncards and the chat went a little like this:

fallingstarsncards
10:43 PM
finally, you’re on!

yannibmbr
10:43 PM
sup

fallingstarsncards
10:43 PM
nothing. just watching tv

yannibmbr
10:44 PM
word!

fallingstarsncards
10:44 PM
i broke up with my bf (boyfriend).. did i tell you?

yannibmbr
10:44 PM
When did that happen?

fallingstarsncards
10:45 PM
um.. monday

yannibmbr
10:46 PM
Oh.
10:47 PM
lay it out for me what happened?

fallingstarsncards
10:48 PM
well, i just told him that ive been unhappy for a while.. and ive been trying to bring it up over and over but he kept shutting me down
10:48 PM
but its basically because we never ahve sex..
10:48 PM
and he smokes weed way too much..
10:49 PM
so i basically ahve been getting hundreds of apology texts from him.. saying everything you can imagine
10:50 PM
and like.. i know i love him, and i care about him, but my gut feeling is that we are not going to work. the cycle will just start over again and ill be in this same position in another 3 months
10:50 PM
i dunno.. i just needed to get it over with

yannibmbr
10:51 PM
good girl.

fallingstarsncards
10:52 PM
there is a man out there who deserves me, and who will treat me the way i want to be treated
10:52 PM
he only had about 1/3 of those things

yannibmbr
10:55 PM
Good for you. You did what you needed to.

fallingstarsncards
10:56 PM
now all i need to do is go out and get drunk and make out with someone new
10:56 PM
because or else ill start missing him and i CANNOT do that

yannibmbr
10:56 PM
best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, rumor has it… 😉

fallingstarsncards
10:57 PM
ive heard that before
10:59 PM
sounds about right

yannibmbr
11:05 PM
of course it does!

fallingstarsncards
11:05 PM
yes indeedy.
11:07 PM
so i signed up on pof

yannibmbr
11:07 PM
Aha.

fallingstarsncards
11:07 PM
just so i could look around

yannibmbr
11:07 PM
You’ll find plenty on there.

fallingstarsncards
11:07 PM
same old idiots as before
11:07 PM
no.

yannibmbr
11:07 PM
change area codes
11:08 PM
zip codes
11:08 PM
negativity begets negativity

fallingstarsncards
11:08 PM
i dont want to date someone who has kids.. or whatever
11:08 PM
nah i dont want to date anyone who lives more than like.. 30 minutes away

yannibmbr
11:09 PM
So filter them out. What’s the real problem here>?

fallingstarsncards
11:09 PM
i dont want to drive that far.. and i cant deal with kidzzz
11:09 PM
lol
11:10 PM
i just wanna have fun and make out
11:10 PM
is that too much to ask?

yannibmbr
11:12 PM
No. So why are you making it out to be? You haven’t even actually tried yet.
11:12 PM
lol

fallingstarsncards
11:12 PM
i know.
11:13 PM
what should i do?

yannibmbr
11:14 PM
Go out and be social. You can go to the bar, of course. Or, hit your friends up and see if they know anybody. Just put yourself in a position to meet people.
11:14 PM

You’ve got a great personality, so it shouldn’t be difficult, if anything it just takes time
11:14 PM
Oh and don’t hit up guys with kids that live more than 30 minutes from you… =)

fallingstarsncards
11:14 PM
when i go out i always meet people
11:15 PM
yeah ill be fine i think

yannibmbr
11:15 PM
Well, there you go

fallingstarsncards
11:16 PM
i just dont have that “go out and find someone to make out with” thing anymore

yannibmbr
11:16 PM
Well, if that’s your mission, to find someone to make out with then a few drinks will do the trick.

fallingstarsncards
11:16 PM
hahaha
11:17 PM
its not reallly.. a mission. it sounds sort of sad when you say it

yannibmbr
11:17 PM
So what’s the problem?
11:18 PM
Here’s your situation: You just broke up with your boyfriend. You want to get out there and meet someone new to fool around with because if you don’t you’ll start missing your ex.

fallingstarsncards
11:19 PM
exactly

So what can we gather from this chat?  Well, the girl broke up with the boyfriend and wants to forget him asap.  It could be that she was really into this guy and I believe that she was…  At the same time she grew discontent in the relationship.  She saw that he didn’t share her values.  I can tell you that I’ve been playing hardball with my friend to break up with her boyfriend, because she was unhappy and saw no future with this guy, yet she did nothing about it.

She would mope and be sad because she was with this guy that, in her mind, she HAD to be with.  Obviously, this is where I gave her some tough lovin’.  She came to her senses and made a decision not to settle.  Good for her.  Now she needs to move on.  My advice was pretty much “get under someone else” or go to a bar.  I’m great with advice, I tell you.  Get drunk and then get laid.  Only if this whole Iran Nuclear fiasco could be solved in such ways.  I know Hillary would pony up, but I digress.

What are some suggestions you would give to my friend for getting out there and meeting someone new?  Should she wait?  If so, how long?  What do YOU think???

Tags: breakups, Dating, observations, pursuit of love, Relationships