Posts Tagged ‘differences’

When Good Sex Goes Bad

November 12, 2009

We have all had them in life… the “buddy” that only stays around because the sex is good.  Every time we get out of a semi-meaningful relationship, they are the first person we call.  It helps us to forget about what we are now out of and helps us to feel good and sexy again.  Plus, there is just something to be said about good sex making you forget about everything else in life.

But what happens when you get together that one time… and the sex is no longer good?  It never fails that one person becomes dissatisfied with the sex before the other.  How do you let the other person down gently?  You don’t want to criticize their skills in the sack.  But you are also no longer interested in hooking up with them.

But then the question becomes this: do you pass off the one bad time as a fluke?  Was it just a bad day?  Or is it something that will continue if you get together again?  And, are you even willing to get together with them again?  If the only reason you meet up with them is because the sex is good, and it no longer is, then is it worth seeing them anymore?

Unfortunately there is no gentle way to let someone know that you no longer want to be their buddy.  If you have moved in to a new relationship, it is quite simple.  But if you just don’t want to see them anymore, what can you do?  For a while, you can turn them down saying you have other plans and that you are busy.  But you can only be busy for so long.  In the end you have to explain to them that you are no longer interested in sleeping with them.  If only they made a Hallmark card for that…

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How do You Deal with Your Significant Other's Best Friend of the Opposite Sex?

November 5, 2009

This is a topic that, surprisingly, I don’t tend to discuss a lot with my friends.  I say “surprisingly” because most anyone that knows me knows that I feel that true friendships between men and women can’t exist without some sort of latent attraction, which has the potential to “blow the whole thing up!”  Needless to say, I’m likely in the minority on that opinion.  However, the thing that intrigues me is how a couple regards each others’ best friends, if they’re of the opposite sex.  Is there some dynamic to worry about?  Do you protest the friendship?  Do you limit how often your partner hangs out with their best friend?  What do you do? (more…)

On Opposite Sides.

September 11, 2009

Opposites attract but do they stay together? Relationships that last are generally based on common interests, goals, values and ambitions. Attraction is essential but without the emotional and intellectual connection there can’t be much depth to a relationship. When dating we are putting the best version of ourselves out there. We are dressed to impress, we are polite, we are on our best behavior in the hope that we can go on a second date with this person if all goes well. But beyond the looking good and light first date conversation there are the real issues that need to be addressed before a relationship can continue. Typically the heavy issues such as religion, politics, children and the future are off limit topics for the early stages of dating. While I somewhat agree with that, how long do these topics need to be avoided? (more…)