Settle Me This or Settle Me That…

So it turns out that when you settle for a relationship it’s just one of those things that wears on you and just bores into your skull.  “Break up with this person already,” you think to yourself.  I think Taylorcast put it best in her blog “This is the Sound of Settling” when she says “Knock it the f*** off! Stop making excuses and settling for less than you deserve.”  That little slice of Zen got me to thinking…

Why was I staying in a relationship that I knew was doomed to fail?  Well, the sex was pretty damn good, truth be told.  Really good (just had to emphasize that).  But, as this Urban Dater has gotten older and wiser it has come to my attention that sex isn’t the be-all-end-all it used to be… In fact, really is the easy part.  If someone had told me that a few years ago I would have laughed and vomited on their shoes out of spite.  True story.

So have I gone and grown up, then?  Perhaps.  Can a monkey man truly evolve and want something deeper than a romp in the sheets?  Well, let’s not push it folks.  I’m simply saying that in the process for settling into a relationship and ignoring the things that really bothered me I realized that I needed something more and it wasn’t one of those “the grass is greener on the other side” moments either.  I needed to take action and, no, taking a new page from my ‘Sexual Position of the Day Playbook’ and putting it to use.  No, I had to end things.

I should also note that Taylor had kicked me into action and into doing something about my situation.  So I give her some thanks there.  The conversation was easy enough, as these things tend to go and it was over and done with within fifteen minutes.  Kinda like sex with your dad.  (Yeah, okay, that was a bad joke. But let me explain: I’m getting sick of mom jokes.  I tried doing cousin, brother and sister jokes but they all failed to hit their mark.  I’m running with the Dad jokes and thus far they are showing promise!)

I have friends that have been dealing with this, too.  Perhaps they made their own conclusions about why they were settling in a relationship.  One such friend was with a girl that he had a lot of fun with; he just knew, though, that he wasn’t going to marry her.  He kept at it for a while, became a bit of an asshole to his girl and ultimately called it quits when he realized where things were at and where they were headed.

It seems simple, to not settle, but it’s not really.  We’re all logical in some level, in thought, but rarely so in action when it comes to matters of the heart.  Don’t settle, or you’ll get donkey punched!

The end


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